omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
