hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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