Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
