sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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