It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
