I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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