I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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