I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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