Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
