.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
she smelled like a LAN party
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
