And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I have already put on my inside pants.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
