Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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