I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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