she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
