shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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