I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Randomize
