they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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