hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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