I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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