shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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