I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Success! We fucked roommates!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
