I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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