i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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