Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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