he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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