Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
