Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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