big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
