So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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