Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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