Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
