I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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