I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
