hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
