Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize