I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize