i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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