So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Do vagina's smell?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
