She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
