awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
