my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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