did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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