oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
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she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
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