Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
