Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
