after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
