Sponge bath it is.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
