I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
