Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
