do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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