Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
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the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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