Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
If that was your dad, he is hot
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
