The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
