On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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