it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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