Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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