Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
