shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
