do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
