I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
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you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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