Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
God I need to hump something, right now.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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