Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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