If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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