I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
