I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
