She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
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Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
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I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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