called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
